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The thing I’ve always wanted to write…

This is the one post I’ve been waiting to write for you since I started this page in 2016.
 
It started yesterday with the usual nervous coursewalk as per any other event. Apart from, this wasn’t just any old event. Pat and I have had a rocky road out eventing, search our BE record and you’ll see a smattering of decent results interspersed with some truly shocking ones that left my confidence in tatters. Last year in particular had only one completion, one elimination thanks to a crashing XC fall at fence 2 and then a total shit show of a SJ retirement at the last event we did in 2021, Shelford.
 
 
Shelford has never been a good venue for me, you’ll see from my BE record above I’ve had some of my worst dressage scores there and I actually think I’ve only ever got round on a cricket score at this venue over the last few years. So why not make our eventing comeback at this beautiful place ?????????? NOB!
I walked the course with Rose along with my equally nervous chum and, despite the challenges it caused across BE Saturday and Sunday, we didn’t think it looked too bad ????? famous last words!!
 
Nice. early. times. RESULT! Love being done by lunchtime! A little naughty to catch meant we were a bit later than planned but.. Turned up, Auntie Smurph and Rose as trusty sidekicks, with half an hour to go. He sprung off the trailer a bit too fresh for my liking but alas… I got on, ALONE and bobbled off to dressage.
 
 
I’ll admit now, despite my C-Section, I feel as though I’m riding better than ever particularly on the flat. I’m more focused on perfecting the art of riding rather than polishing the test, this paid off. I rode for one of my best ever scores – 24.8!!
 
Onto the show jumping. I will fully admit to my total and utter negative outburst right here. I’m sorry if you came and said hello to me today before I finished, I’m sorry my attitude stank and I’m sorry I had to have at least four friends almost physically lift me up onto my horse and make me at least try a practice jump.
 
 
I didn’t want to jump. I really didn’t want to. Why spoil a brilliant dressage with an awful round of jumping…? Stupid miserable self doubt, I wish you’d just F*CK OFF sometimes! But I took the advice and I sucked it up and gave it a go. I decided in the warm up that my hands couldn’t save me, they needed to be lower and stiller and that got us round the course for a brilliant clear. A CLEAR!!! That’s right a 24.8 and 0 to add.
 
Whhaaat! Self doubting once more I reluctantly got changed and went to the XC. I’m not even going to try and take you with me over each fence because I’m going to try and get my hands on the video for you to see for yourself just how it rode, but what I want to say is… for the first time ever I actually finished a XC round KNOWING that my horse enjoyed it.
 
 
He really enjoyed today’s XC round like I’ve never felt before and that’s why I cried like a baby through those finish flags. The win means nothing if you’re not a team but today we felt more of a team than ever.
 
I was beginning to doubt if Pat and I would ever really do this again, this was the test. Today my horse and I WON, we finished on our dressage score of 24.8 hitting the optimum time on the nose. That win means more to me than you can ever imagine, it means I’m not “just” mummy, it means I’m not the lousy rider that my brain can tell me I am, it means my horse trusts me still, and most of all… it means I’m not finished yet.
 
 
Thank you so much for the unwavering support you always show me and my little horse, and thank you to the brands I have supporting me in Ariat Europe, Premier Performance CZ and Topline Vet Physio – we are a team and this glimmer today has me starting to believe what a successful team we are.
 
 
A huge credit also needs to go to Auntie Smurph and my gorgeous friend Emma who held me up today when the crippling self doubt took hold ?
 
Most of all… the biggest thanks go to my horse. I love you Pat, you’ve made my dreams come true today. 
 
Oh and it turns out we’ve qualified for the first The Brigante Cup Championship in September so it’s not over yet my boy!
 
 
Love, as always
Vic and Pat xxxx

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